Wednesday, September 2, 2015

12 Reasons Donald Trump is the Best Candidate

Sometimes you just need to unwind. But in a world full of technology, fast living and technology and fast living and chronic ADD, how do you do it?

Well here are a few reasons you should stop taking vitamins and stop exercising. That's right, folks. Batman is overrated.

Oh yeah. And my title was misleading on purpose. Ha! Hoodwinked you've been!!!

4. Ninjas Were Farmers.
Like Superman before them, ninjas were humble farmers. They learned their skills from great men like Chris Farley and Batman. And Batman learned from Donald Trump how to be a billionaire.

Countless debates have raged for centuries over who is the better Captain - Kirk or Piccard and today, we settle it. The best is Han Solo. Period.

3. Peanut Butter Was Invented by Gnomes.
It is a well established fact that peanut butter was invented by George Washing, carver of cherry trees. But what you may not know is that he was actually a garden gnome.

The simple fact is that clouds are made of evaporated water. So why should you care what I do with a lazy Sunday afternoon.

2. Nike is a Waffle.
The popular athletic brand of gear is great and all, but the guy who invented it only did so because he put rubber in a waffle iron to increase surface area while reducing volume. But he could've just cranked the dial. And shoes aren't that loud anyway.

1. Carrots aren't always orange.
It's true. Google it. 

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