Monday, November 6, 2017

Thor Ragnarok Movie Review


After a decent origin film and a passable sequel, Thor Ragnarok was poised to be the best in the trilogy and the first Trilogy Cap (a term I used to describe the third film of a trilogy) in a very long time to be better than the first two. But does it live up to the hype? Can Thor Ragnarok deliver?
In a word, yes. Thor Ragnarok is easily the best film centered around the titular Norse god of thunder, and in my opinion, the best movie FEATURING him. That includes both Avengers films, Dr. Strange, and the first two Thor movies. It’s a fun, exciting thrill ride.
But the movie isn’t flawless by any stretch. The second act seems to drag on for a little too long and some of the jokes fell flat. The introduction of Hela to the army of Asgard was notably guilty of a forced joke that I really felt should’ve been omitted as it undermined the entire sequence and broke the tone and pace of an otherwise well executed scene.
That’s not to say all the jokes fell flat. Many of them - especially those involving Taika Waititi’s Korg - were well placed and funny. I laughed my head off when, after Thor and Loki had just finished a heartfelt conversation and Loki evaporated away, Korg charged into the scene shouting in his very timid voice, “piss off, ghost!”
Plot structure was also set up quite nicely, with planting and payoff peppered expertly throughout and one my favorite scenes getting an awesome callback later in the film. In fact, in terms of basic structure, this movie is nearly flawless.
So what about the characters?
Well, Chris Hemsworth played Thor better than ever, adding a sense of witty machismo and arrogance that he honestly should’ve had all the way back in the first movie. He really shines here and I was thrilled to see his thunder really break out in a big way. Good stuff.
Hulk was hilarious, but at the noticeable expense of feeling especially dangerous or powerful to me. He’s no longer an unbridled rage monster. Now he’s a really strong toddler. That’s both good and bad.
I already mentioned Korg, who was probably my favorite character throughout. Everything he did and said was hilarious and reminded me of the folks I met on my honeymoon in New Zealand. Perfect.
Hela may be the best Marvel villain we’ve seen yet. She’s both tragic and dangerous. She’s everything you could ask for in a Thor villain and I really hope to see her again.
I’ve never understood the appeal of Loki. I don’t think he was particularly compelling in Thor or in The Avengers, and this movie did little to resolve that for me. He seemed necessary here, but bland.
Sif was a no show. I mention this because the other Warriors Three all make appearances, but she doesn’t, making this an especially noticeable absence. It was quite distracting and left me feeling robbed of that extra layer of depth. Not that she’s particularly great as a character. It just seemed like they forgot to add her in. And given the fact that a relationship between her and Thor was briefly hinted at in previous films, and the fact that Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster was also gone, it just seemed like a mistake.
Finally, The Grandmaster. I didn’t care for him. He was jokey and kind of boring. He got one good chuckle out of me, but that’s it. I wasn’t impressed.

And the Action?
The action scenes were awesome. Totally amazing from start to finish. And this movie has the best opening scene of any Marvel movie to date. Pure epic goodness. But there were more than a few glaring moments of badly done CGI. It wasn’t as bad as the horrendous character modeling in Dr. Strange, but it did distract me several times. And watching a big budget movie that suddenly becomes a glorified video game cutscene is disappointing. 
And other than some poorly done cgi, the movie looked brilliant. I really enjoyed it. And I’m excited to see it again. It’s definitely a theater movie, so see it.
Now I just have to wait two more weeks until Justice League steals all my money at the box office!
That’s it for now! See ya!

Treasure Hunters

It’s not like I was expecting lush green grass, but I figured it would at least be a bit more colorful than the drab yellowish brown that crunched beneath our feet. Oh well. I suppose I can’t demand much from a warm September afternoon in Wyoming. It’s not like the area was known for its rolling emerald hills. But Tolkien did me a disservice. I really believed that adventures involving treasure and tumult were supposed to begin with vibrant green grass before plunging its heroes into a world of ominously dead weeds and bison skulls (the former of which stretched out as far as the eye can see and the latter was scattered about here and there to ensure that we never quite felt safe).
But trepidatious or not, Jac and I were treasure hunters now and we couldn’t turn back! I mean, three million dollars of gold and jewels awaited us at the end of our journey. So we pressed onward.
It may be advantageous to the story that I inform you of our present predicament. You see, we had no provisions and our only form of communication with the outside world was the heartiest screams or shouts we could muster, since our phones had been long dead. But by now, we were roughly three miles from the trail head (a term used here loosely as a formal trailhead was nowhere to be found) and Jac was patiently following my lead into the great unknown.
Now you may need to know that I am not really keen on being gored, trampled, or eaten. So when Jaclyn and I happened upon a herd of roughly fifty American bison, I was decidedly unwilling to barrel through them. Jaclyn disagreed.
But, being the heroic fellow that I am, I insisted that it was far too scary to continue until they’d moved on, so we stood perfectly still for two and a half hours. Jaclyn tried several times to move forward, but I was unwilling to die. So we remained in the same place. Some more.
But these bison weren’t ready to move along. A couple groups of adolescent calves were butting horns and grunting rather aggressively at one another, a few babies were suckling the teets of their mamas, and the largest, scariest two of the bunch took turns lying down and standing in our way, staring us down. Oh and a few were making new calves.
Anyway, after a while, we saw a man approaching from beyond the herd and so we left the beaten path and walked about a mile out of the way and further into the wilderness of the prairie. It was sunny, so it wasn’t so bad, but we were a little wet, having just endured a flash rain. Oh well. We pressed on.
Another two hours passed as we hiked, eager to arrive at our eventual destination, a creek where I believed the treasure to be hidden. We made it to find a couple of people making their way back toward civilization, and we began surveying the area for the right hiding spot.
The clues were all there. We needed some waist-high water - we had it. We needed some old burnt wood - we had it. We even had a rainbow, resting in a spot marked by a naturally formed X. We were confident we’d found the right spot.
I began digging in the wood and water for clues and hints to the exact whereabouts of the treasure, but to no avail. It was deeper. And Jaclyn wasn’t going to let me walk away from this adventure without checking as thoroughly as possible.
She urged me to disrobe and hop in. So after a bit of protesting, I conceded and took off my clothes. The water was cold. And worse - slimy. But that’s alright. I was there for $3,000,000. Trouble was that the $3,000,000 wasn’t there for me.
Defeated, but oddly satisfied, I hopped out of the freezing creek and put my clothes back on. It was time to head back. Besides, the sky wasn’t blue anymore. Instead, it was painted with beautiful pink and orange strokes, but the beauty also meant danger. We were no less than eight miles deep into the wilderness with no provisions in the middle of grizzly country. So we started hiking.
But the trail wasn’t so easy to find this time around. It had been obscured by several herds of bison and our own inability to navigate a prairie. Still, we marched onward.
But it wouldn’t be a safe journey back. Or a dry one. The rains came again! This time with a vengeance. And being later in the day, it was much colder than before. We hunched and kept trekking, soaking wet now. We made it about a half mile and the rains stopped. Relieved, we smiled. But Mother Nature is a cruel prankster.
The rains subsided only to make way for the hailstorm that followed. Tiny pellets of ice beat down on us. And then they got bigger. A year later and I can still feel the bruises on my ears. We ran for cover, but no cover would be found. So we prayed.
Finally, we spotted a meager tree in the distance. It was off the trail (if such a thing even existed anymore), but we needed to find shelter. We made a run for it, our socks soggy and wet, sloshing with rain water and our feet blistering.
The tree wasn’t much help. It was small, and with autumn in full swing, what few leaves it might’ve had just a few weeks earlier had long since fallen. We held one another, praying. I tried to shield my bride from the elements, cradling her head under my body.
Then she began to panic and flail. She was under attack! Suddenly, I watched as her leg swiftly accelerated upward, punting a baby bird. It must’ve been seeking shelter in her pants. It wasn’t too injured, but it was certainly not pleased with her unwillingness to share, so it five bombed her, hitting her hair before flying off into the storm. After a half hour or so, the hail subsided, and we were back on our way, the sky a dim, dark gray now.
We hadn’t taken more than five steps when Mother Nature decided to prank us again. CRAKOOWWW!!! A huge burst of lightning rocketed to the ground ten feet from us. Our hearts pounded. CRAKOOWWW!!! Another bolt. We crouched and started running.
To our left, we saw the agitated bison making their way to us again. In the distance, the sounds of howling wolves and rolling thunder. We were stranded and lost at six thousand feet and seven miles from the road. We ran.
Our panting must’ve seemed so loud to anything out there. But it was getting dark, and we were certain that this was our last night together alive.
We made it to an embankment. It was muddy, but we remembered coming down it on the way to the treasure (which we hadn’t found). It was the first semblance of a land marker we’d seen in some time, so we knew generally where we were.
We were in Death Gulch. And the bison skull and grizzly paw prints we almost tripped on didn’t give us any ease. We started up the embankment. But it was loose mud and wouldn’t hold us. We trigger a mudslide (unintentionally of course). Jaclyn was whisked away by it, falling fast.
I quickly grabbed for a root protruding from the ground and latched on with my right hand as I grabbed my bride’s wrist with my left. I may have hurt her arm a little, but I had to save her life. Rocks and mud and water poured over my body as I strained with all my might, praying the root wouldn’t snap. A quick rush of adrenaline allowed me to push my darling up the embankment to safety and then she helped me up. By now we were bruised and muddy and soaking wet, but to good news was that it was almost dark and we were six miles from the car.
We pressed on, Jac following my lead. I held her close. Her sock had long ago slipped off her foot and was eroding her skin from inside her boot. But we had no time to stop and fix it. We had to press on.
Night fell and we were still a long way from the car, but by 11:00PM, we finally made it back. Unwilling to ride in wet clothes, we disrobed and hopped in, ready to get to the hotel only five miles away.
Except that five miles was an exaggeration and the nearest hotel in that direction was ninety miles away. So we drove. We drove into the night. Into the fog. Around the mountain. Through construction. Around a porcupine. Going 5 MPH at some points and 35 MPH at others. And finally, after hours of exhaustion and defeat, we arrived at a hotel and I walked in (I had eventually put on some clothes).
Inside, I asked for a room, my eyes bloodshot and my face weary. And then a cockatiel attacked me! For whatever reason, it hated me that night. First, it swooped down and attacked my head, then it circled back around and started violently pecking my bare feet (okay, I was wearing flip flops). What could I do?! I dodged and evaded (unsuccessfully), but I came away battle scarred. Still, at the end of the day, we were officially treasure hunters. We weren't treasure finders, but we were treasure hunters. And I had a room key.

We showered. We ordered food. We passed out. And that’s just one reason

Friday, November 3, 2017

Lament of the Abandoned

Tell me what sort of evil has beset me
That I think of her while she forgets me?
How long? How long?
And what kind of fraud do you think that I'll be?
When all of the flaws that I can't hide within myself
Start coming out
And how long? How long?
In the eyes of love done wrong
And egregious sins that break our thrones
Will I say
"So long?"
When the rusted steel that ties our hands
Shatters us and breaks the bands
Of our love
Was I wrong?
Well I promised and you promised too
With burning hearts we said "I do"
But I've heard that time makes liars
Of us all
But I took your hand and you took my name
With solemn vows love sparked a flame
But I know that tears quench fires after all.
What sort of devil has taken me
In the eyes of love done wrong
And egregious sins that break our thrones
Will I say
"So long?"
When the rusted steel that ties our hands
Shatters us and breaks the bands
Of our love
Was I wrong?

Micro Film Coming Soon!

Hey, guys! I just wanted to take a second to let you know about a very special microfilm that will be coming your way in just two weeks! It’s a quick battle scene to promote my brand new book A Greater Love, which is coming out this December! You can check out the short film here or at or on the 17th of November OR you can get early access to it by becoming a Patreon supporter or by joining the Robsters by signing up to contribute an amount you set!
That’s all I got for now! See ya soon!

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

A Quick Message from Robby!

Dear Readers,
Life has a way of making us ask questions. Something about wonder and mystery are powerful things. Why is the sky blue? Why did Fred the Seal try to eat me? And of course this biggest question of all: WHERE THE HECK HAS ROBBYMONROE BEEN?!
Well, we’ve been away. You may have noticed like one post in the past year or so. And I’ll be the first to admit that being so sporadic is totally bogus. Why would we abandon all our readers for so long? Here’s the thing - we didn’t have much to say. Plus google shut us down for months. So that was super lame.
But we’re back now. So that’s nice.
Over the next few weeks, we will be getting our act together. We promise that we aren’t gonna vanish again anytime soon. At least not intentionally.
You can look forward to all the stuff you’ve come to expect from the website:
Poetry; Stories; Editorials; Videos
But we have some other cool stuff coming your way too. Stuff like:
Comics; Pictures; Puzzles/Games; Coloring Pages; much much more!!!
We are for real getting ready to bring you awesome content on the daily! And we plan to start bringing you this content starting NOVEMBER 1st!
So don’t go away! Take a look at some of our old posts! Watch our videos! And prepare for the awesome new content we’re about to bring to you!
See you guys soon.
-Robby Monroe

Sunday, August 6, 2017

A Girl I Used to Know

Well I used to walk the boardwalk
Down off Sixteenth Avenue
Sharing dreams and lacing fingers
With a girl that I once knew
And I swore I'd always love her
But that was years ago
I heard she's settled down
And married now
So I guess that's good for her

I can't give you what you need
So if you need hope
And love
You won't get that from me
But if you want lost
And broken
Then maybe I'm your man
But if you need something in between those things
Then I'll do the best I can

I used to drive the long way
Down Pasadesco Road
Staying late and breaking curfew
Another girl I used to know
And I swore I'd never love her
But that seems foolish now
I'll bet she's happy and
Still laughing how
I can't get her off my mind

I can't give you what you need
So if you need hope
And love
You won't get that from me
But if you want lost
And broken
Then maybe I'm your man
But if you need something in between those things
Then I'll do the best I can

Tuesday, September 27, 2016


Oh to be like Thee, my King.
Oh that for Thy love I'd sing.
For a world of long dead sinners lost,
Thou hast borne that old infernal cross.

But were it not for that cup of wrath,
And endless love which no man hath,
That cross would crumble and dissolve.
'Neath the weight of sin unabsolved.

But grace hath yet abounded still,
Crushed Messiah, Creator killed.
On my behalf the savior died.
Lest my sin metastasize.

Rebuke, repent, remove my sins.
'Tis through the furnace gold is cleansed.
So wash me now, King, as alabaster
That I may know, and call thee Master.

Remove from me my lying lips,
And purge me in Thine holy scripts.
Displace me from my lustful heart,
And grant me, Lord a grand new start.

Guide mine hands to do Thy work,
Holy Spirit, fuel rebirth.
Thine own elect formed anew,
And heal me of my wicked youth.

Oh that Thy will should become mine own,
And when I err, Lord, prove me wrong,
And may Thy Word be on my lips,
And in mine heart, lest I forget.

I'll call to mind all Thou hast done
And follow Thine own risen Son.
But drag me when I dare not go,
And through me, Father, seeds do sew.

Friday, September 2, 2016

3240: How Andy Stanley Proved He is not a Christian

Andy Stanley is one of the most successful pastors in North America, leading huge congregations of people and following in the footsteps of his father, Charles Stanley. But there is a problem with Andy that proves without question that the apple has indeed fallen very, very far from the tree.

In a recent sermon, Andy states that believing in the inerrancy of Scripture is not only foolish, but dangerous. Further, his sermon seems to be aimed at non-believing "post-Christians," a strange thing indeed for a pastor as his duty is to preach to believers - to feed the sheep so to speak.

But it gets worse. Andy goes on to describe why faith built on Scripture is fleeting. This flies in the face of the passage in Romans which tells us:

Romans 10:17
"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ."

He then goes on to cite 'facts' that prove the Bible is WRONG! He fallaciously asserts that there is no evidence for the fall of Jericho, for which we have much evidence. He says that there is nothing in history to indicate that the Jews ever left Egypt in a mass Exodus, a statement as ridiculous as it is bold. In or around 1525 B.C., there was a mass Exodus of Semitic people called the Hyksos who came out of Egypt during the 18th Dynasty.

But it gets even worse! He goes on to foolishly proclaim that the Bible wrongly asserts the age of the earth as young, effectively transitioning his argument to claim that nothing in Scripture is worth believing. He makes the Bible into a fantasy novel full of allegory and good for moral teaching, but not for actual faith. He asserts that some things in the Bible are true, but other parts never happened, calling into question the entire text.

Andy Stanley then backpedals, asserting that the Scripture is true! He gives no evidence for this, effectively neutralizing his own point that the Bible cannot be trusted and that the people who believe the Bible as God-breathed and absolutely true are foolish. His latest sermon is massively foolish and confusing.

Andy Stanley cannot be trusted with the spiritual well-being of anyone.

In another recent sermon from the Spring of 2016, he asserted that anyone who doesn't attend a mega-church doesn't care about their children! Andy Stanley is a loose cannon who lacks the discipline to be a teacher and lacks the character to be a pastor. This man is dangerous.

He continues his sermon by explaining (contrary to 2 Timothy 3) that no one actually believed that the Bible was inspired. This is false.

2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;"

Andy Stanley is not qualified to be a pastor. His bold, antibiblical assertions prove he is not a true believer at all. He undermines the Bible. He shames the position of pastor that he has been given and ought to be forced to step down. His ministry is not a true ministry at all. His attempts to appeal to non-believers and skeptics through Bible-twisting is abhorrent. He is not fit for the ministry.

His main hermeneutical idea by the way? Christianity doesn't need the Bible. I'll direct you once again to Romans 10:17. And then to every piece of Scripture which tells us that God commanded something to be written down. God gave us the Bible and Andy Stanley would take it away. He is a wicked man. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Matthew 7:15-20
15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So then, you will know them by their fruits."

The fruit of Andy's sermon is rotten. He bears bad fruit. Remember the words of our Lord.

And to Andy I say, repent. Shut down your false ministry. And live the rest of your life quietly in submission under a pastor who teaches and preaches the true word of God.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

McHugh Creek (Part 1)

A few months back, Jaclyn and I headed to McHugh Creek to do a little hiking. It was nice. I found some Moose Dookie and went hunting for Sasquatch. But lately I am afraid that my old ally in the woods has fallen on hard times. You see, there has been a terrible tragedy in his lands. A huge 500 acre wildfire has recently broken out among the trees, likely destroying his home along with a ton of other creaturely abodes.

Jaclyn and I can smell the smoke from home (which is over 25 miles away). The air in Girdwood is hazy and the roads are shut down. It's miserable. We're trapped here like the Romans a couple thousand years ago.

I recently made this video when I was there. It was a really fun trip and I'm genuinely saddened by the fires that are destroying it.