Friday, January 30, 2015

The Dream Girl

Well, world, I am getting married. Seems so strange and surreal to me that it's actually happening. I have been waiting and praying for this day for so long.

I remember when I was just a small child that I used to dream at night of a girl. I never remembered her face, but I always remembered her spirit. She was vibrant and alive. She was fun and intelligent. I wrote a lot of songs for her over the years. I whispered a lot of prayers for her too.

I was between the ages of five and six years old the first time I dreamt of her. And all those dreams for all those years began the same way.

I was older. A grown up. Somehow. And there I sat beneath a big tree. Can't tell you what kind. I'm not certain. As a matter of fact, outside the commonly known trees like Maple, Pine and Oak, I'm quite dim when it comes to tree-names. Nevertheless, there I was.

Then a younger me came up. He was three years old. I remember that very clearly. He tried to move me. To make me stand. To play. But I was too old for games. I wanted to read my book and be left to my adulthood. I couldn't be bothered with childish games and whimsy. And then something odd happened.

The younger me rolled down a hill that I didn't know was behind me. Apparently it was just behind the tree, and I never knew it. But I knew I had to catch him. To keep him safe. So I jumped up and dove down the hill. This is where all the dreams diverged. At this point, they were different. 

In one that I recall vividly, I found myself in a great battle. Something very much like the American Civil War. Guns, smoke and screaming. I rushed through the calamity and commotion to find the younger me, but I couldn't. Then I was transported. The girl. She was there - wherever there happened to be. I think it was just an empty space. And it was just us. I remember feeling so connected to her. She was beautiful. Radiant. Mine. I reached my hand to touch her face, but I awoke. It was a dream. And I couldn't remember any of her features. Just her presence. Her essence. I prayed for her. One day, perhaps if Heaven allowed, I would stroke that face in this world. 

I can't tell how long I pondered that dream and that girl before the next one came to me. And it began the same way. I was older and sitting beneath a tree. 

This time, I found myself in a school. I passed by her in the hallway, and I at first did not recognize her. She looked different this time, but my hand brushed hers and in an instant, I knew that I had been graced again by that same girl from before. It was her spirit.

Things were strange, but I felt a sense of hope in my future. 

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